Continued: Surprise! You're
While marriage has its
surprises, so do the relationships forged in college. And those
surprises usually start in the dorm room. "I had to adjust to the
personalities of roommates. I realized they are different than me
and have different perspectives," Carlson explains.
Hemmila found that most
good, soul-searching, cleansing conversations with his roommates
happened once the lights were out." College is the best experience
of your life and you make really close friends," he adds. "I was
surprised how much I grew up."
the sexes can also take students by surprise especially the way
they sometimes wreak havoc with studies, friends and roommates.
"Many students are not surprised by how much they enjoy their new
social life," says Deanna Murphy, associate dean of student life
at Northwestern, "but they are surprised by the difficulty of saying
'no' to social times even when the demands of school are obvious."
Hemmila's view is more
to the point: "Don't just sit around talking to the man you're going
to marry. Fact is, you probably just met him and he'll be just as
dreamy tomorrow so you don't have to bask in his charming glow every
waking second. Get involved! If there's a concert or ball game,
Murphy sees students
surprised by homesickness. "It's the loneliness they didn't expect.
Even though they are busy building new friendships, there's a feeling
of loneliness because they are not as well known as they were before
they came to college. I've seen students greatly surprised by feelings
of inadequacy even though they have always been very confident."
Courtesy of ARA Content
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