True Dating Stories
The Next Generation
It was bound to happen. I am even woman enough to say I initiated the beginning of the end, albeit unconsciously. When the comment flew out of his mouth, I should have known to check twice. Not even he could have been that vulgar, I now realize.
We were at the state park for Labor Day weekend with, what I had now come to secretly refer to as - the yutz brothers i.e. his best friends. Tension between us had been at an all time high and these two jackals were loving it. Out of the recesses of the darkest bowels of profanity, a cleverly barbed sling made its way over their heads and straight for mine. Silence descended, as the slow motion instant replay directed my stunned disbelief away from the yutz brothers and directly at my one and only, who to tell the truth looked more stunned than all of us put together. Wether it was the combination of voices rushing together and words blending or fates sadistic humor distorting our hearing, it didnt matter in that moment. All that mattered was leaving that park as quickly as possible.
We left so quickly in fact, that the tires of his black mustang squealed in pain and left behind a dark cloudy trail in protest. Yet, in spite of our fiery departure, some hot rod driving, drunk band of hooligans managed to cut in front of us. And that was the beginning of the end.
As the yutz brothers whooped and hollered that a real man wouldnt take that, I screamed that if he didnt stop I would jump out of the car. Jumping would have caused me less nausea than the continuous swerving, as he sought to run his co-patriots in stupidity off the road. And there it was the first date all over again. Instead of watching idiots on the screen, I was sitting next to them. My stomach so tied in knots that not even his most soulful look could cause the butterflies to flutter. It was over.
Sometimes the most important decisions in our life are determined in a single moment. Sometimes these are decisions made in a speeding car, when your thoughts seem the only voice of reason present and other times they are made for you by someone who judges your accomplishments by the answers given on a simple test. But as I put my pen to paper, I think both backward and forward with fondness and fear. My entire future had been decided in one single moment the kind of moment that makes your hands shake, your heart pound and a cold sweat trickle from your armpits down your sides, as you pray that there are no accompanying odors. Thats when I did it, the unpardonable in the scheme of male taboos - I grabbed the wheel and forced him to pull over. If I thought the silence was deafening before, the complete void of sound on the drive back was actually painful.
The amazing thing was that after all the griping to my friends and all the screaming matches the moment we officially screamed our final goodbyes, I wanted him back. His tarnished armor now gleamed. His rip roaring burps in the middle of the night were now - cute. For months after, the jangling of the phone sent me racing, completely erasing the annoyance that had had me cursing him for checking up on me so often. Even worse though was the silence that echoed off the cold lime green walls of my dorm room, when the phone hung silent and mocking and I imagined him in deep, intense conversation with some other woman. Some woman that appreciated Dices witticisms and enjoyed hauling his laundry down thirteen flights of stairs, when the stench became too overpowering. It was in those moments that I knew my life was over. I would never find love again and would be crazy to think that if I searched the world over I could find his equal.
AND SO IT GOES...
Six months and two weeks later, I was walking across campus on my way to the bookstore when I walked into a block of steel. My brown eyes met his warm blue....... Oh Jesus not again.
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