Ex-Ray Specs

Dear Ms. Disiac,

I really need your help. I dated this guy for 4 years and I broke up with him. I am now dating a great wonderful guy who also got out of a long-term relationship about a year ago. We are great but sometimes I think about my old flame and if I should be with him. But this happens only after I talk to him or see him and every once in a while by myself. And I am so happy when I am with the other guy. Another problem I have is my new guys ex. Her family keeps calling and inviting him places with them what should I do should I stop this b/c I do not want him falling for her again. Help, help. Thanks



Dear Ex-Ray,

Your letter jumps from you talking about your ex to talking about your boyfriend's ex. What is going on in your head? Are you still interested in your ex? If not why mention it in the same letter that appears to be about your boyfriends' ex-girlfriend? Are you jealous of his ex because you still have lingering feelings for your ex? Life and emotions can get very complicated, and it is important for you to clearly understand your own feelings.

You do not say how long ago your boyfriend and his ex broke-up and you don't say if he is actually going to family events. If he is not going to her events, then the calls don't matter. They only matter in your head because you are spending time with your ex-boyfriend. It is not only unfair for you turn this around, but it will not help your relationship. Are you trying to hide your own guilt, by focusing on your boyfriend's ex? You should decide which guy you want and focus your attention him.

- Afra


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