Great
Thinkers of Our Time?
By John
Watson
jjwatson@digitex.net
1. Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then
we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why
I would not live forever." ---Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss
USA contest.
2."Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all
over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny
like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
---Mariah Carey
3. "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some
of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers
also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what they are." ---Matt Lauer on NBC's Today Show,
4."I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply
with the law."
---David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, (answering accusations
that he failed to pay his taxes)
5."Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important
part of your life." ---Brooke Shields, during an interview
to become spokesperson for a federal
antismoking campaign.
6. "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of
my body."
---Winston Bennett,
Univ. of KY basketball forward
7. "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest
crime rates in the country."
---Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
8. "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
---Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
9. "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our
papers. We are the president." ---Hillary Clinton (commenting
on the release of subpoenaed documents)
10. "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
---Former French President Charles De Gaule
11. "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a "donkey", and I'm just the one to do it."
---A Congressional Candidate in Texas
12. "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." ---Former
U.S. Vice-president Dan Quayle
13. "Without censorship, things can get terribly confused
in the public mind."
---General William Westmoreland
14. And last but not least, a parting word from Dan Quayle: "I
love California. I
practically grew up in Phoenix."
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