What About Bob?

Dear Ms. Disiac,

I've been with this guy for almost 2 years now (lets call him Bob, he's 19 and I'm 16). We had one of those relationships where we were best friends and was there for each other in good times and bad times. We shared our deepest darkest secrets and everything about ourselves.....it felt like I could be free with him any time I wanted. I really thought I was in love. Our problems were I wasn't really attracted to him and he was bit over protective. He wouldn't have a whole lot of money (but that wasn't a big concern to me. He's doing quite well now he's got a fairly good job and he's loosened up a bit.) I've been messing it up though...I dumped him after all that time for a guy I don't even like now. But "Bob" kept loving me and told me he still wanted to be with me. So, for a while we got into a few fights and we fooled around. then I met this other guy that was "Bob 's" friend. Now I'm going out with him and I really hurt bills feelings. I really don't want to hurt his feelings. The only thing I can think about is bill still. I like this other guy I'm with now, but I can't stop thinking about "Bob". what should I do? I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings anymore. I was just thinking not be with anyone because I don't want to take away "Bob's" friend or want them to fight over me. Please tell me what I should do...please, I'm really confused.

What About Bob?

Dear What About Bob? ,

It may be better for you to have a great friend than a bad relationship with Bob. If you are not attracted to him, the relationship wouldn't work in the long run. Keep him as a friend, because he sounds like a nice guy, but there is not need to rub his face in it. You must make it clear to Bob that you are good friends, but nothing more. Did Bob tell you how he feels about you dating his best friend? Do you and Bob's friend really have feelings for each other, or is this just the result of convenience? What about dating outside this small circle of friends? There are plenty of guys out there who are not Bob's best friend.

- Afra

 

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