On & Off

Dear Ms. Disiac,

There is a girl that I really like. I went out with her once for about a week then we split up, about a week later she told me that she wanted me back and we agreed that we would see each other more often and get to know each other better. All that was going really well for a couple of months and then when I was out with her once she pulled two other people in front of me and then just went off somewhere. I was really hurt and ever since then (about two months ago)we have barely spoke. So a week ago I told her I still really like her. Now she is really flirty with me and its sort of like it was before. But she hasn't told me how she feels about me, whereas before we used to talk about it all the time. In the past she would not hesitate to tell me that she liked or hated me. She doesn't ring me as much as she used to and we haven't been out anywhere but whenever I see her she is much more flirty than she ever was. What should I do?

­ On And Off

Dear On And Off ,

You need to clarify your relationship by talking with her. Don't be afraid to talk with her about whether you are "on" or "off". You will have to initiate the conversation with her because it sounds like she has cut back on communicating with you. She may be more interested in the attention that you give her than in having a relationship with you. She may not be ready for or interested in having a relationship at all. If you don't discuss this with her, you are likely to be miserable. Even if she tells you something that you don't want to hear, you are better off finding out now rather than months from now. You should also ask yourself why you are still interested in her after she had mistreated you?

- Afra

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