Inaugural Column :
Trapped In L. A.
Q: Dear Ms. Disiac,
I'm a 26 year old male grad student at a Los Angeles University. I have been hanging-out with one my professors who is in her early 40s, and who is not unattractive. We have been socializing mainly as friends, going to clubs and parties. One night we went a local club and had quite a bit to drink. One thing lead to another and we spend the night together. We both agreed that it was a mistake. I had previously met her daughter who is a gorgeous 19 year old who is now a freshman at the same school.
One weekend when the professor was out of town, her daughter asked me to take her out for dinner. We really hit it off. Sparks were flying from the first moment. She and I have been seeing each other for several weeks. When her mother found out, she completely lost it, and started yelling and throwing dishes. She is now threatening to to make my life miserable in any way she can.
The daughter has recently moved back with mom, which makes it very hard to see her. On top of all this, the daughter revealed that her ex-boyfriend is stalking her, has violent tendencies and is threatening suicide. What should I do?
- Trapped in LA
A: Dear Trapped,
Why do so many people dive right into the middle of a psychodrama that would make a soap opera producer weep? We find much of this happening in the City of Angels. It is the aura of Hollywood that keeps things out of kilter?
You should really question why you slept with the professor in the first place, if you knew you were interested in her daughter? On top of that, what are you doing sleeping with a professor, you think just because you are a guy you can handle anything? You may be surprised to find that you can't handle everything. Aside from that you are in a tangled mess.
My advice is to stay as far away from that Mother-daugher dynamic-duo as possible. This relationship could end in tragedy of if you are not careful. You should remind the mother to maintain more professional standards.
You should suggest that the daughter seek counseling from a local woman's shelter for advice on dealing with the wacked-out ex. She might also consider getting a court issued restraining order restricting him from getting close to her. Next time try to date someone who is a bit more balanced and stay away from Mrs. Jones.
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